I remember everyone used to say things like this, about their own children and also to me when I was pregnant, I think as some kind of warning. I was thrown to the wolves when it came to comments about enjoying him while he was young, him not being a baby for long and the most common 'They Grow So Quickly'. I would just roll my eyes and politely reply, and being typical me, I totally overlooked their warnings and paid little attention. Yes, I am still retaining some of my teenage stubborness when it comes to listening to warnings from those who have already tread that path and want to help. If my mother knew I still retained any of this, even five years after leaving the teens behind me she would probably need to start paying a therapist!
Anyway I digress! What I mean is this: when people said to me about how quickly Joshua would grow up I ignored them (not actually totally because I'm stubborn) because in my mind a month is still a month long and a year is still a year long, isn't it? Surely the outside world hasn't changed that much?! I just didn't realise how much they learn, and change and literally grow in size in one month. It's liek they shed themselves every month, a little like a snake sheds it's old skin as it grows in to a new one! (I swaer I saw that on tv once)
But now as I watch my nearing two year old, I realise how absolute that statement was! It seems like Joshua was a baby for literally the blink of an eye. In a few months he passed out of his 'new baby' phase and started 'doing things' so the baby stage faded pretty quickly in a blur of sleepless nights adding to my overall blurry recollection of the later parts of 2010. From then he has sped through nearly two years to the point he's now a 'little boy' and not a baby anymore. He's a person now with thoughts, inclinations, habbits and his own mind. And he's my best friend now.
I must admit that I enjoy him more and more every single day. Now he's older, he gives as good as he gets in any situation! I know people say "He/she's got a real personality now" when their baby reaches a few months old etc but never before has this statement been more true for Joshua! He really does possess his own unique personality now. Displayed through things like him being adament he must at least try and feed himself every single thing he eats because food from mummies spoon just doesn't taste the same to a big boy. And him dancing like a looney who's feet have been stapled to the floor while his body bursts in to uncontrollable movement in reaction to his favourite television shows. Heck it's even displayed by the fact he HAS favourite television shows!
He eats big boy food, wears big boy pyjammas, wears big boy shoes, drinks from big boy cups and now has a big boy pushchair. It seems like we've spent the last two years building up to this point and suddenly it's like I ran in to a brick wall, or a closed patio door and my face is sliding downwards, still stuck to the glass. All of a sudden he's growing up TOO fast for me. I don't like it! I can't control it, I want it to slow down just a little bit...but likewise I am gripped by what he's going to do next! So I have done a few things to help aid my acceptance of this current stage. One of which is that I went to Next and bought him three sleepsuits in his current size (they do them up to 2-3 years you know, so I am saved until he's three!) so at least at bedtime three times a week or so he still looks like a baby. He's worn pyjammas since he was nine months old because he was so big so this is a real watery eye moment for me-he looks so adorable! And I must say it's deffinately helped ease my broodiness too because Lord knows I am NOT having another baby until I have some form or rock attached to my finger! So thank you Next!
So as I watch my big boy playing with his Buzz Lightyear, watching a cartoon so intently that his eyebrowns and mouth are reacting to the plotline like mine do when watching Emmerdale-I really am sighing with pleasure and sadness that he's growing so fast. Especially when I realised something extra cute this morning. I told Joshua that the ants (our tenants left our house with a nasty ant problem we are struggling to correct-cheers for that) come underneath the front door at night time and as I look over I realise last night he left three of his Happyland shops and houses by the front door ready for them! I can only assume he was providing the ants with a bakery to ease their cravings, a house to sleep nicely in and a police station for the naughty ones. Never before has my heart swelled with so much love and adoration!
So for now he may be growing way too fast for me to fully like, but one things for sure, he may not be a baby anymore but he will be My Baby for a while yet!
Love Chloe xx
