Sun, Seashells and Sand, Sand, Sand!

Being British, I tend to find that we spend all the cold months moaning about the low temperature and willing the summer to arrive so we can get our white bits out and scare the postman as he arrives with our Casper-esq skin toned legs. (Or is that just me?!) Anyway, as soon as the sun comes out to play, every garden in the Uk suddenly becomes full of life and activity. BBQ'S spring up everywhere, kids can't get enough of the outdoors and the world just seems so much...better...with a bit of sunshine! The longer daylight hours mean the lovely sound of children laughing and playing together goes on long in to the later evening hours, with the occassional expleetive from a Dad who's just failed at a BBQ excercise. Oh, how I love the summer!

As much as we spend all winter (which seems to have lasted forever this year!) moaning about the cold and fantasizing about a sun drenched beach somewhere exotic (not just me on that one, huh?!) the second the novelty of heat wears off-we tend to moan again! I heard someone moaning about the stickiness, the humidity, the heat causing body sweat and I just realised-there is no pleasing the British people when it comes to weather! The second it finally shows signs of summer coming, the moaning begins all over again! *covers eyes in exasperation*

However although not my sons first summer, I am making sure we are enjoying it as if it is indeed his first. He's twenty months old now and so lots of things are first-first proper paddling pool (last year he couldn't walk so just sat in it), first sand pit etc. Thanks to Tesco's genius Clubcard Exchange I managed to buy Josh a sand and water table, some play and and some sand toys. May I say he has not been out of the garden since we got them home!

As with lots of toddlers, Joshua's first experience with sand was a picture perfect moment-a picture where the caption would have read "Eugh *shuddering* WHAT is this stuff?" and a grimace to challenge all others ensued. Quickly he's loved it, and can't stop sticking his hands in it, throwing it, digging it, and the icing on the cake-eating it. Yes my son seems to have a penchant for eating sand. I keep telling him off, and yet I still catch him trying to sneak handfuls of the stuff in his awaiting mouth! No revultion follows, it's almost as if...he likes eating sand. I am very concerned, is this my fault? Is it something I did wrong?!

Also as much as I love to watch him play in the garden in his sand pit, running free in the amazon rainforest (ok, not quite but the tenants who lived in our house while we were away never cut the grass and our lawnmower is stuck in storage-hence rainforest length grass) I can't help but become guarded, awaiting the inevetable re-entrance back in to the living room thus throwing sand EVERYWHERE. I find myself jumping with the speed of an Olympic Athlete from my sofa to the patio doors screaming 'NOOOOO' as Josh looks bewildered (and also covered in sand). It never wors because no matter what I do, by the end of the day I seem to find more sand in my living room, and scattered around the house than is actually in the sand pit. Grains of sand, tiny grains of sand, have become the bain of my life!

Anyway, while I google how to avoid sand sanwiches becoming Joshua's favourite treat and trying to remove sand from my kitchen floor, I will share with you some pictures of yesterday. Enjoy!

Love Chloe xx

I'm Back!

In the words of the pilot from Independence Day with Will Smith...."I'MMMMMM BACCCCKKKKK"!

Hello beautiful people of the blogasphere! *waves* Have you forgotten me?! I have not forgotten you, or meant to neglect you! My poor old blog has been sat there festering away for the past nearly three weeks-poor thing. I think it's developed a nervous twitch in response to it's neglect. A twitch which seems to take me to 123-reg.com every second click...oo-er! Perhaps it's my punishment for not being able to update it's content, it must have felt empty, hungry and naked. Now I feel very guilty!

Well, thanks to Sky we have had no internet access since we moved three weeks ago and my rare ability to connect was thanks to other people's kindness but theres only so many times you can go around to a friends house, harrass them for their internet connection, then kindly want them to disappear and leave you in peace while you catch up on the blogasphere! Some people these days just don't understand do they?!

Anyway my internet is now finally up and running-WOOHOO- and I feel connected and reintegrated back in to the bosom of my blog family. And very nice this bosom of family is!

So, the question is this-what have I missed?!

Love Chloe
xx
*sigh of contentment at being back*

Happy Endings

Is it me or are we all motivated and driven by the ultimate goal of a Happy Ending? Women (ok I'm generalising here) spend their lives hoping (even if secretly) for the White Knight to come and scoop them up in a whirlwind of love,lust and romance. Followed by the fairytale wedding, the 2.4 children, the people carrier and old age spent on a rocking chair, holding hands watching the grandchildren play. Men seem to be just as determined to find their Happy Ending, even if there's includes lots more sex, beer and football-in the end they want to have the Happy Ending with a stable home life. This seems to be a universal goal. Yes we all have other different goals-careers, travelling, accomplishment etc but overall we all strive for that Happy Ending scence in the end.

I am absolutely one of those people. I don't want much, although I would love a lottery win with lots of money and the biggets shopping trips of my life (what woman wouldn't?!) when my head isn't stuck in the lottery-winning-cloud, my reality Happy Ending seems a lot more acheivable. Like I said, I don't want much-romance, love, family, home. That's my Happy Ending.

We live in a world where seperated families are the norm. Where sadly people don't stay together forever, true love doesn't always concour all and more often than not, love just isn't enough anymore. I think that's one reason we have a multi million dollar film industry. In one way or another we are all missing vital pieces of our Happy Ending scenario, so we pay to watch other people's lives even if fictional, when we know that their is a fairytale Happy Ending. We love Happy Endings so much, even when they aren't ours.

This is why I constantly feel like I'm bashing my head on a brick wall when I watch television these days. I have recently started watching a new television show, and within no time I find myself drawn in, addicted to it and so engrossed in the storylines and the characters. And then within a few episodes I don't have the motivation to keep up with it anymore. In almost every plot we have 'the couple' who should be together. Somehow they flirt and dance around actually being together when every fibre of our being (as the viewer) is screaming at them to just get on with it and get down! I know that it's supposed to keep us hooked but to me, it's just annoying and frustrating! I for one would much rather see the couple who should be together forever-actually end up together forever. Yes ok throw loads of drama at them but don't put in to question their Happy Ending because that's what I love-I guess it's escapism. Films always have those brilliant Happy Endings so why do television shows always seem to avoid it for longer than one episode!? I don't want to see and feel the pain of a couple I love not be together-especially for theatrical reasons!

The best example of it that I can think of was Lucas and Peyton in One Tree Hill. They had three seasons (all of 22 episodes) of skirting around the fact they were a couple meant to be together and by season four they were. (Thank goodness because there was no way I could watch another season of reasons why they weren't a couple!) Then season five came and they were having a baby etc but lots of drama was happening to keep us watching. Their Happy Ending was exactly what it should have been and I loved it. It was my escapism, my favourite and they are one of my all time favourite fictional couples because of it.

There is enough heartache, enough reasons why couple's don't make it, enough sacrifice when it comes to finding a Happy Ending in real, everyday life-we all know it and face it to some degree. So when I watch something that I can immerse myself in, I want the Happy Ending-it makes me feel all gooey all over! The writers write characters and hint at relationships in such a way to make us want characters to be together so why toy with us?! We have enough of that for the other 23 hours a day!

I may be alone in thinking like this but when a show toys with relationships which really should work out, I actually stop watching. It's too tiresome! It may sound pathetic but I want more Happy Endings on tv! We have reality (and reality tv!) to give us the alternatives!

Ok, rant over!

Love Chloe xx

Windy Miller

Lots of people told me when I was pregnant how much I would be filled with pride when my child did something in public to deserve admiration etc. What they didn't prepare me for was the sheer embarrassment that my son can also cause me! I'm not one to blush, I think I've only ever felt a cheek flush twice in my life, the rest of the time if I'm embarrassed it's an inward thing and I appear to keep my cool. However my son can instantly put this to the test as he appears to have taken it upon himself to push my blushing-buttons!

I never realised how windy babies and children were until I had one of my own! Now I'm no prude, far from it! Our Sunday Dinners around my Mums kitchen table would always descend in to cackles of howling laughter as the conversation hit the gutter and the jokes were all of extreme toilet humor nature. But yet when my son lets one go in public I can't help but feel embarrassed! It's so care free-he's running around and bends down and there it is-loud and proud for the world to hear! People look, people turn their noses up and I want the ground to swallow me up. Likewise when we were in the supermarket queue last week Joshua decided to burp-several times-loudly causing everyone to look.

Butter Wouldn't Melt

His reaction is to laugh at it, because thats what we do at home. We do say 'pardon' but at his age he doesn't know the social rules that mean it's rude to pass wind-of any variety-in public! He doesn't know it's taboo! And yet people still judge him-and me may I add-when he does it! He's not even two, it's as much a part of life as breathing to him! His personal favourite at the moment is to trump and then turn and laugh in the most fake, over the top laugh-which draws even more attention to it. Typical bloke-thinking farting is funny I suppose, I guess he's just fitting in to the stereotype early!

So on one hand when he smiles, sings or smiles at old ladies sweetly my heart will swell with pride. But on the other hand all he needs to do is do something with air which isn't breathing, and I feel mortally embarrassed and search for the nearest rock to climb under and hide my face in shame!

Oh the joys of parenthood hey?!

Love Chloe xx

Tough Love

My partner and I recently had a conversation in the car. Nothing unusual there, as the only time we really have proper conversations seems to be when we are in the car going somewhere! In the day time we tend to be preocupied with the little man, the house and various other things and then in the evenings we are too knackered to peel our eyes away from the tv or our bodies off the sofa-let alone have a conversation. So thus our conversations (the proper adult kind, not the "has he pooed today?" or "has he had a fruit pot at breakfast time?") now usually take place with one of us behind a steering wheel. (I promise we do concentrate on the road too)

Anyway, we were talking about discipline. My partner had said that he now realises the overwhelming need for discipline in a childs life. He had previously thought he was going to let my son do whatever he wanted but had recently realised he would actually be a strict parent. My jaw was on the floor at his sentiment-I didn't even realise he had previously thought about 'letting our son do whatever he wanted' because the thought infuriates me! I wasn't raised by strict parents but I always had boundries. There were rules in my house, rules I wouldn't dare break and I was taught the difference between right and wrong through cause and effect. My mum always used to say "You'll understand when you're older" as the reason why I would be punished if I was naughty or did something worthy or punishment (I'm talking about bunking off school not something trivial). I used to get infuriated with that statement but now I'm "older" I do understand, and I do appreciate it. It's because of those lessons I learned that I know the value of discipline in a childs life. Particularly the early years, because I know rght from wrong-mostly anyway!

Joshua is your normal toddler, for the most part we are blessed with a very well behaved child. He's so good and everyone coments on his temprement and how well he behaves when we are out. Of course he has his moments! There are days when I want to drown in a bath of chocolate and wine to recover from his tantrums or lay down in the road so never to experience such parental hardships again! However I do know that members of my family sometimes feel I'm too strict with him. When I appear too firm with him, I catch them looking in a judgemental way but I choose to avoid the discussion that would follow if I questioned it. I don't feel I'm too strict with Joshua, sometimes I think I'm too soft! But I do know the value of discipline and know that one day he will thank me for it.

When I was younger I was very close to another family. There were several children in this family and we grew up together. We are all now adults and have very little to do with each other, something which saddens me greatly but comes down to the fact we were raised with discipline and in an honest, non offensive way, they weren't. It's resulted in us all being two types of people. The children in this family grew up with no boundaries, no limits and no restrictions. Basically they made up their own rules because they never had any put in place for them. As children, the one closest to me in age was spoilt, jealous, manipulative and nasty-all as a result of insecurity caused by the deep seeded issue that her parents didn't love her enough to discipline her. They just threw money at her instead. Great for a short time but money is truly no replacement for love and nuturing parents in the long run. As we all grew up they went through the drugs stages, the trouble stage with police, failing at school, failing in relationships etc. Now I see that the lack of boundaries as they grew up meant that with adolescence resulted in rebellion that I've not seen in anyone else. I'm not judging them, far from it-I'm just able to say honestly that I've observed what can happen, the destruction, when a child is raised without discipline.

It's because of this that I've always know my children would be raised with discipline. I want Joshua to experience punishment (I'm talking about a slap on the hand, not a month in a cage with no food!) so he can learn that there are consequences to him being naughty. And it's hard as a mother to put this in to practice as my heart breaks in two as I watch him struggle to understand why Mummy is the one who can kiss away tears but at times is also the one to cause them. But I see it as a neccessary evil and a key factor in his development. It's a life lesson I suppose.

Tantrum On The Way because he can't have his own way!

I'm a firm believer that if you love someone enough then you tell them the truth. It's easy to tell people what they want to hear-I find that British people especially (yes, I am British) don't always like hearing the truth, particularly if it's too close to the bone. However I firmly think it's more benficial to have the truth than a sugar coated version. It's lost me friends, and caused arguements and tears on both sides but it's the way I am, I can't help it. Nor would I want to if I'm honest. But it's another way that my belief in 'tough love' is shown.

I look back on the times I was grounded for staying out way past my curfew, the times when I was told off for having my boyfriend in my bedroom with the door shut when it was on the 'no-no' list at that age-and it's times like this that make me feel I'm well rounded and balanced as an individual. Ultimately that's all I want for my son. I'm not strict, he runs riot and runs rings around me and his daddy but at 20 months he knows and understands what 'no' means and knows not to do things that have previously resulted in a slapped hand. As he gets older he will face time-outs and the naughty step as punishment, but as yet he's too little to learn any benefit from that.

Being a mother who practices tough love is to me, another way I show Joshua how much I love him. I love him enough to do the hard thing and correct him, to tell him off, to punish him and to teach him things he doesn't want to learn. It would be far easier for me to let him always have his way, to always say "that's ok" or to always go back on my scolding when he begins to look at me with those puppy dog eyes full of sadness. And yet I choose to do the harder thing because in the long run it's the most beneficial thing to do. No-one ever said parenting was easy after all!

So do you think I'm awful for being an advocate for tough love? Do you parent without discipline and let your child learn for themselves, if so what is it that makes you choose to do this? I would be interested to hear your thoughts!

Love Chloe xx

Silent Sunday

The future Mr and Mrs! xx

My Top Tips for Moving House With A Toddler

I've written lots before about how difficult I found it to live away from my home town the last year, and as most of you know I've been itching to get back! Well this week finally saw moving day arrive, and despte all the stress of moving house/packing/unpacking etc I am now sitting back in my house, in my hometown and very much in a state of happiness!

We moved down south for my partners job, which offered him a one year contract near Brighton. He couldn't refuse it and I wasn't opposed to a little adventure so he took the job and off we went. No-one could have forseen the problems that occured with his spine and meant we spent much of the time in limbo land, confined to the house and spending more time together than the average pair of breasts-yes, we certainly drove each other to the brink and back! But not one to let it overcome me, we got on with it and had one of those calenders with big black ticks crossing off the days until we could come back in to the open arms of friends and family. Finally here we are!

So in the last three weeks I've seen Baby Daddy admitted to hospital for spinal surgery which went well, although he needed time on intensive care, a gradual decline in his wellbeing resulting in a very scary moment with a crash team and lots of doctors and nurses running around. Luckily he picked up and while he picked up I managed to pack up and clean our entire house and arrange the removal. A week later and here we are-home. It's all worth it, Loreal style!

But I have learnt a few things that I want to share with you all, just for when you move house with a toddler. Because trust me, once again I was caught short, not in the toilet manner, but in the unprepared way! So here are my top tips for moving house when you have a child in tow!

1. Start packing early! I started packing a good few weeks in advance, packing decorations, taking down mirrors and pictures and generally removing items that weren't needed. As lovely as your ornaments are, they are the first things that can be packed and it means there is less that has to be done closer to moving day. I also recommend that you pack half of your kicthen items like glasses, plates, cutlery etc as you won't be throwing dinner parties close to moving and won't need them all!

2. Involve the little ones where possible. When packing softer items, particularly things from their bedrooms then get them in on the act, give them a few bits that they can pack and they will love it. They just want to feel included and if you don't want them whinging and generally distracting you, then this is best for all concerned.

3.Pack their toys almost last! This is dual sided, if you pack the majority of their toys last then you don't have to worry about entertaining them. Although I do recommend packing most books and toys that won't be noticed in absense. The everyday toys though should be left until last as combined with the confusion of watching the house get packed up, noticing a loved toy missing will be distressing for little minds.

4.Stick to the routine you have. Moving house can be one of the most stressful times for a family. It's very important to stick to the routine that your child has as much as possible. The continuation and cohesion will aid the confusion of the unheaval. It's very difficult with nap times etc when beds are disesembled but where possible stick to it and it's important to keep to night time routines etc.

5. When you set up your little one's bedroom in the new house if possible then stick to the same layout of furniture etc. Moving house can be very hard for children and young'uns to understand and it's also scary and un-nerving for them. Having a bedroom that looks as identical as possible will be key in helping thm settle in to their new home.

6. Prepare for unusual behavior. All children react differently to 'stress' and different circumstances but it's a good idea to prepare for night time wakings, early morning risings, changes in temprement etc as such a huge change can have an affect on their behvior in the short term.

7. When you get in to your new house, right from the beginning it's best to let the children have a good look around and this is more important when unpacked and 'finished'. Allowing them to become familiar with the house and the rooms, layout etc will ease the transition from house to house.

8. Make sure that you have counted cupboards etc in the kitchen for safety proofing. This is something that is imperative! My son literally had a field day the first 24 hours removing everything we were putting away in the kitchen. Plan and buy cupboard locks for the kicthen cupboards and drawers, get door stops, and door protectors (stop them slaming shut on little fingers), get toilet locks if accessable and remember plug socket covers and corner buffers. All of these are easy to get hold of and quite cheap too, but very important for a safe home! Stair gates are imperative too, usually a good idea to have them put in the moving van last so they can be first out!

9. I recommend trying to arrange your television is one of the first things out of the moving lorry/van as if you set this up, put Mickey Mouse on etc then at least you known distraction is easy for the kids when you are in the throws of stress!

10. No matter what your views on dietary requirements is, make it a little easier on yourself and make moving day a good day for take-away or mcdonalds dinner! Having to cook on moving day is near impossible so if you plan that day as being Happy Meal day, the kids will love it even more and it's one less thing for you to worry about!

So they may seem like no brainers but you would be suprised how many things slip your mind in the midst of setting up your new home! If you are planning on moving house then I recommend making a note of these pointers! For now though I'm off to enjoy a large vino and breathe a sigh of relief that for us, it's all over. I will not be moving again for a good while!

Love Chloe xx

Hand Me Manny

As we all know, when you have a toddler, heck, even when you have a teenager-television is a neccessaty. When your child is younger, like mine, the television acts a s a babysitter while you speed shower, hopefully providing enough entertainment to enable you to dive in and out of the shower like a rabbit on speed. If you're really unlucky the sound of the shower coaxes your childs usually focused eyes away from the bright cartoons and next thing they are banging on the door, desperate to get in too. Most of the time though, television works a treat-especially if you have a playpen like we do (a.k.a the cage) so your child can't escape and has no choice but to allow hypnotism to overcome them as the subliminal draw of the Disney channel works its magic. God bless Disney is all I can say!

I've blogged about my sons love for Peppa Pig, his evolution from the chubby little pink piggy to Mickey Mouse, The Hive and Jungle Junction and his latest favourite to add to the list is Handy Manny. I must say my son seems to be very loyal (which makes me very reassured he will be a great partner to some lucky lady one day, and not a 'player' or heartbreaker!) as he point blank rejects other shows. If it's not a character he recognises, then he isn't interested. He's a tough audience to say the least! So when a certain character makes it on to his list of allowed cartoons then he sticks at it, and at it, and at it. It's all he wants to watch and so we find ourselves filling up the sky plus planner with various episodes of Mickey Mouse, Handy Manny and the likes just to make sure we have a small amount of variation. Watching the same episode over and over again could literally make me go do-lally, as in I've actually gone to put the kettle in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard do-lally. I swear if you're over five years old then the Disney Junior channel actually melts your brain. Watch too much of it and you'll walk around in a brain-fart daze for hours before you recover!

So we've gone through the Peppa Pig stage (the voice still haunts my dreams and I think I could possible remember by heart all the episodes from the current seasons) and are up to Handy Manny. Something happened the other day, rather than sticking my head in the laptop, ebaying, facebooking etc and generally having 5 minutes peace while Josh watched TV, I actually found myself intrigued. By a cartoon. Oh dear I hear you say. So trying to understand what was intriguing I watched, listened and watched some more....cor, Handy Manny doesn't half have a sexy voice you know. He's a right little cutie, he walks in such an endearing manner, he's a got a gorgeous mexican/spanish/some sort of accent going on and he's so sweet and kind to his 'tool' friends. My heart melted a little bit. I think I have some sort of crush on Handy Manny. I probably need to see a therapist about this as I'm sure there is some perverse name or "ism" for fancying a cartoon character. Personally I think it's the affect of too much Disney Channel!

Imagine my disbelief when I googled "the voice of Handy Manny" and saw a familiar name! A name I recognised from the gossip mags I actually had time to read before I was a mum and now only get the odd five minutes to catch up on last October's gossip in the Doctors waitng room. The actors name is Wilmer Valderamma and he's been in all sorts of films (low budget, but still films) and has dated lots of femme fatals (of the teenage variety) likle Lindsey Lohan and Demi Lovato. So ladies (and the odd gent) here I introduce Handy Manny, drool as you see fit....

Imagine my jaw hitting the floor, coffee (ok, diet coke) dribbling out of my mouth and the eyeballs popping out of my head. It's official, I fancy Handy Manny. He can come and repair my kitchen sink ANY time!

Love Chloe xx

Please note I do love and fancy my boyfriend too. Just saying! Ha.