What To Expect When You're Expecting DVD Giveaway!

 Here's a real treat for y'all! Working with the Department of Health's new initiative 'Start4Life' to promote staying healthy in pregnancy in order to give your baby the best possible start in life-I have teamed up with them to give away THREE copies of the newly released 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' DVD featuring Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez to name but a few!

This DVD is amazing, I have to say it wasn't what I was expecting (ha see what I did there?!) but it was an excellent film for parents and parents to be! It was heartwarming at times, insightful at others and heartbreaking at times too. It's gone on my favourites list already!

All you need to do to enter is use the rafflecopter below, there are several ways to earn entries including following this blog and leaving a comment with your own top tip for staying healthy in pregnancy on the original post!

This competition will run from 28th September for a week and winners will be drawn within 24 hours of competition close and notified by email! Only open to Uk and Northern Ireland Residents - sorry guys!

If you aren't lucky enough to win a copy, 'What to Expect when you Expecting' is out now on DVD and Bluray in all good shops.


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Top Tips For Staying Healthy In Pregnancy!

I have recently worked with several agencies over promoting health in pregnancy that will mean you're baby will be getting off to the best start when they are born. Working with the Department of Health's new initiative 'Start4Life' I've written a post about my top tips for staying as healthy as possible during your pregnancy.

My Top Tips for Staying Healthy In Pregnancy!

1. Stop smoking.
Now, I've never been a smoker, the odd one when I was a teenager as it seemed the 'in' thing to do at the time but other than that, it's not for me. I understand it's an addiction but during pregnancy to give your baby the best possible start, it's highly advisable to give it up. In 2010/2011 nearly 14% of mothers smoked throughout their pregnancies-that figure shocked me. Most said that they were worried the stress of quitting would damage the baby. To me that's just an excuse! The affects of smoking throughout a pregnancy are proven to be far far worse than the affects of stress. Babies born to smoking mothers are born much smaller because the cigarettes deprive the baby of the oxygen it needs, that's a huge reminder of your mistake once you're babies born. Smokers have higher chances of stillbirth, cot death and lung problems. Although I can only imagine how difficult it must be to stop smoking, it's highly advisable. The Start4Life website has lots of help for Mothers to be who want help to give up smoking.

2. Stop Drinking Alcohol.
These facts really interested me because when I was pregnant with Joshua I got mixed responses when asking about alcohol in pregnancy. Not that I drank in my pregnancy, I saw it as just something I needed to sacrifice for 9 months for my son. I think I had one sip of champers at a wedding reception the whole 9 months. I think the general opinion was that the occasional drink was fine-on it's own. I also think I read somewhere that a small glass of wine a week was 'allowed'. However after reading the Start4Life fact sheet I was proved wrong. It's advisable to stop drinking altogether. In 2005 54% of mothers drank alcohol in their pregnancies and 8% exceeded the limit.
Dr Dawn Harper explains that every single day your babies brain and vital organs are developing and alcohol can restrict this growth so it's best to cut it out altogether. I know know from a top expert that it's best to avoid it but if you are going to have a drink then no more than 1-2 units a week.

3. Remember to Excercise.
I'm not talking massive exertion, full on body pumping and marathon running here! Just 30 minutes walking each day will do it, and it doesn't all need to be in one go! I'm not one for exercising but next time I'm going to make more effort to get more walking in! After reading on Start4Life that walking regularly, or any regular exercise in pregnancy, your body is more prepared for labor! Not only this but walking helps you sleep better, helps combat anxiety and stress and also sets you up in a nice routine for when the baby does arrive for walking he/she every day!

4. Get Your 5-A-Day!
The whole five a day thing is very well documented now and couldn't be more important than in pregnancy. The nutrients that are found in fruit and vegetables are vital to your babies growth and development. It doesn't matter if you don't/can't have the fresh versions-the frozen and tinned versions still provide the same!
Vitamin D and Folic Acid are also really important for your baby, folic acid is given free by prescription so make sure you pay your doctor/midwife a visit to get it!

5. Monitor Your intake.
Now although I agree with healthy eating in pregnancy, I did also read that the whole saying 'You're eating for two' is a myth. You shouldn't actually eat for two in pregnancy, in fact you only need an extra 200 calories in the last months of your pregnancy-which is the equivalent to two slices of toast with margarine. HOWEVER I know how much my appetite increased at certain points in my pregnancy, as did everyone I know who's had a baby. So although you don't need to eat for your baby as well, most people do see a marked increase in their appetites, even if it's just because your burning more calories off with the extra weight you carry etc-I don't know but I would say that as long as everything is in moderation it's fine-except the odd day like I occasionally had where I could avoid the call of the golden arches!

So these are the top tips for staying healthy in pregnancy, and I learnt something about each one-there are basic things here that  wish I had known in my pregnancy-even things that weren't relevant to me were interesting to learn! If you want more information on tips to stay healthy in pregnancy then visit the Start4Life website here.

Love Chloe xx

Help Please!

I don't usually write like this. I want to explain something to all of you and I hope some of you may be able to help me-please. I'm desperate!

I'm going to start from the beginning and I would really like any advise on how to handle this all going forward as I literally haven't got a clue. I'm not used to knowing or having anything to do with quite frankly, very nasty people. So here it goes...

As you all know I run a facebook business, although I sell in other places too, at the moment while my website is being developed I am a facebook business predominantly. I work with wood, design all my own creations and get to do something I love and that lets me escape the situation at home with regards to how my sons father's spinal disease has affected our life. Likewise my Mum had a very small little page on facebook too. Lasy year she was diagnosed with M.E and spent almost an entire 12 months bedbound. She's finally got some level of life back now which is a huge blessing, and one thing she does to keep herself busy, and to keep her mind of the difficulty of her situation-is to sew. She makes little buntings, cushions etc. So that's the background on us.

One of my previously favourite pages on facebook was a lady who made one product-but what she did, she did very well. Her work was gorgeous, and she's spent years building it up and has a huge following on facebook, thousands upon thousands of followers, and she's very active on the business forums that are a great tool for businesses on facebook. I would go as far as to say I became friends with this lady, she gave me help and advice in the early days and she bought from me and I bought two items from her for my house. Seems all very normal right? Well that's when it turned sour.

My Mum saw the two items I had bought from her in my house and thought they were lovely, and decided to have a go at recreating something herself that was similar. No malice in it, just she was so impressed she thought she would have a go and see what she came up with-after all she loves to sew things, and she was really excited about making something like this herself...In the end her design was similar but very different in size, colour and overall appearance. She put a picture on her facebook page to show off her handiwork and oh-my-days the uproar was HORRIFIC.

The lady who I bought my two items from got wind of this and accused my Mum of being a 'copycat' and me of buying the items for them to be solely copied...not only did she accuse my mum of this, but she also named and shamed her on a very prominant business forum for tens of thousands of people to see. She made everyone think my mum had set out to steal her idea, to think that my poor mum who only ever wanted to make something pretty, had done it to be nasty. Which was so far from the truth. Because she is so prominant in the facebook business world, everyone jumped to her 'defence' and my mum received the worst level of harassment I've ever been witness too. People bombarded her page with nasty message, after nasty message. They all slated her work, they contacted people who had left nice comments on her pictures to disuade them from having anything to do with her and literally sabotaged her page. And it just....didn't...stop. It went on for days. Not being emotionally equipped to deal with this sort of thing, my Mum was terrified to go on the computer for a while. So after a few days deciding, I thought it would be a good idea to build some bridges, I messaged the other lady...

We were chatting by email and I was polite, chatty and friendly-like I always am. As a teenager I left school early because of the bitchiness of girls-I just can't stand it, don't have time for people like that-  so I'm hardly going to be saying anything along those lines. Also because I really didn't want her to think my Mum had done something untowards-it just wasn't like that. So anyway, chatting away we were when suddenly she sent me a message telling ME I was harrassing HER. Obviously I wasn't doing any such thing and apologised profucely as I explained I think she had the wrong end of the stick...as I really didn't want to fall out with her, I liked the woman, appreciated her previous help and thought her work was fantastic. I'm not blinded by loyalty that I can't see both sides as I understood she thought something 'bad' had gone on but I wanted to help her see it wasn't done with malice, assuming she would understand and that we could all kiss and make up-like Big girls. Nope, wrong again.

Now it's very important to point out that on facebook the handmade business pages are full of the same types of things. We all make our own things unique but  all you need to do is look on google, pintrest, ebay and amazon and you will find lots of people doing the same sorts of things so really this other woman had no footing to stand on with accusing my mum of 'copying' her, lots of other people did the same things too! However she went to all the big movers and shakers in the networking world and made them aware of me and my mum, and BOTH our businesses although mine actually had nothing to do with the whole thing. Instantly neither me or my mum were included on the networking sessions...they made that decesion on a one sided story.

After my mum spent a few days getting over the awful messages she was bombarded with she contacted another lady who likewise made the same type of products as my mum and woman 'x'. She explained and the lovely woman 'y' said although she did feel my mums were a very close design, there was enough space in the market for everyone. She was so lovely and helped to re-build my mums confidence. Somehow, she ended up contacting the first woman to try and help I think, but this is when the lies started coming. The lady in question here told woman 'y' that I had said lots of VERY untrue things about her, slating her business, saying her products were rubbish and generally being very horrible about her-none of which has any remote truth in it. When confronted about this I was so shocked a grown woman could so openly lie-AND write 'mesages' that were supposedly from me too. Anyone that knows me knows I wouldn't have written them as there was wording etc used I don't use at all! She also in this time was STILL bringing it up on networking pages, to make more people think me and my mum were the facebook crafters version of the enemy. She said I was sending her harrassing messages-I wasn't sending her ANY messages!

So, the whole thing was continuing, almost every day there would be a new 'topic' on the networking pages with people making reference to it, we were continuing to be excluded from networking sessions and the general slander was ongoing. Woman 'x' clearly couldn't let it go. SO my mum finally decided she would put some new pictures on her facebook page and when she did it all started again. Woman 'x' went to the biggest of all networking pages and told her side of the story and they likewise picked the whole thing up and made it a huge issue again. Whats more this networking forum pride themselves on not naming and shaming and yet very frequently woman 'x' and her friends would make sure all the people who were discussing the issue of 'copycats' knew that me and my mum were apparantly copycats. It's all VERY PATHETIC! My mum publically apologised and unable to take the slander and harrasment has withdrawn from her page, she was bullied in to it.

Now my mums page has gone, I'm getting the blunt end of it-despite me not even having anything to do with the initial issue. I am still getting named and shamed every time I try and say anything about anything-just the normal stuff. Between her and her contacts a 'Stop The Copycats' page was set up on facebook too! All in our aid I assume! I merely dared to say that I thought this was a bad idea because who would police it properly? Who was to say that innocent parties wouldn't be labelled as 'copycats' and have their pages sabotaged just because their competition wanted to remove them from the market? I didn't want anyone else to go through what this had done to my mum. Yes she made something similar, but lots of other people do too and she was hounded for it. I've never seen bullying like it. After making my comments (where I didn't even mention me or my mum) I was given some very pointed comments and named and shamed again-it's relentless.

Now I am so demotivated by it, I'm scared of what's next and I don't know what to do. Woman 'x' tells lies, slanders me and my business despite me not having anything to do with the whole thing. But what she does is very clever-she deletes her bad-mouthing comments after the damage is done-so I can't report her. Facebook don't allow you to report someone and explain the situation, it's all automated and if you don't have a paper trail to start on you have no chance of reporting them-she deletes her comments so I have nothing to report...It's taking a toll on my business now and it's making me paranoid too. She's contacting my customers and suppliers alike. For example she had never had anything to do with one of my suppliers and suddenly they have become friends and I am told by my supplier basically that she won't supply me any more! I can only imagine what she's been told to say that to me after we've had a previously great working relationship.

I can see both sides, at first woman 'x' felt wronged, I understand that. But I know I explained it wasn't like that, I made her aware nothing was done with malice and quite frankly the whole thing is ridiculous-she's had an apology, my mums page with the offending items is gone! She knows this and has still continued her hate campaign. That to me isn't a level headed person. And because she's so well known and liked on facebook no-one even considers that she's telling lies or behaving in a bullying manor. They just want to jump to her 'defence' even though I've said and done nothing since the original emails-which were nice and fully of apology!

My thoughts are how pathetic the whole thing is! This is facebook for goodness sakes, get a grip woman! She DOESN'T have copyright despite claiming she does-we know, we checked with a solicitor! Nothing has been done to her in malice and yet she's gone on a hate campaign, to be honest I think there are bigger fish to fry in the world than this! BUT she's affecting my business and my only source of income and supporting my son. It's also making me very miserable and a nervous wreck always worrying whats going to be the latest progression when I turn the computer on. I just don't know what to do anymore? Do I bow down and back out like my mum was forced to do despite my business being the only good thing in my life right now? I don't know. But I really, really need some advice please?

Facebook are absolutely useless at dealing with the issue of bullying and after so much in the press about cyber bullying I assumed it would be an easier system. It's not. And I've learnt that some people just want to be...nasty. And what's more, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it.

Chloe xx

Amanda Todd

I've never been one for taking on a cause and fighting for it unless it truly touches my heart. It may make me sound like the Ice Queen but, I don't stop for those people who literally corner you in the street trying to get you to donate to their charities. Quite frankly trying to force me in to giving money isn't going to do anything but make me cross! I can decide for myself whether or not I think a cause is worthwhile and pressing me up again the glass of the nearest shop while trying to 'persuade' me aka harass me to giving you my bank details in the street-well, it's not going to happen!

I do care about causes like Cancer Research, Alzheimers charities, charaties for Depression and Post Natal depression etc-things that have affected my life, or the lives of people I've known. I also donate on red nose day, poppy day and the likes of sports relief etc-although I'm not allowed to watch them for long or I end up sobbing my heart out and would probably want to donate my entire house, contents, sweetie cupboard and all! I'm just trying to point out that I'm not a hard faced cow here!

So one set of charities that I've not really been au-fait with are the anti bullying ones. I hold my hands up now, I was totally uneducated about them, their cause and in general- bullying. In my opinion (before) bullying had always been a term banded around so much, too much. Kind of hard to tell the wheat from the chaff kind of thing. And like anything I felt people used it as an excuse for their own behavior. With children I assumed there were bad cases, but again felt it was used as a branding for well, kids being kids. Basically like when I was younger, there was less bullying and more 'kids just being kids'. BUT I now know how wrong I was...

Have you heard about teenager Amanda Todd? Well if you haven't I'm, sure you will. She's made headlines across the world for her suicide last week. The whole thing makes me cry every time I think about it. Amanda was bullied online and in person for years, sending her from a happy normal teen, to a depressed girl who tried drinks and drugs to escape her torment. Before she took her own life she had previously tried to commit suicide trying things like drinking bleach.

The beautiful teen from Vancouver was online one day and chatting to friends on a chat room when a guy who told her she was beautiful, who flattered her, asked her to flash her chest-which she did. Now although I did question this, I read a quote about it which perfectly sums it up... " Being sexually curious is not an abnormal thing as an adolescent. It's quite developmentally normal. The problem is that when you combine it with the online world then the effects can be devastating". It was particularly devestating for Amanda because the guy behind it contacted her a year later threatening to expose the pictures unless she did it again. Sadly he did send the pictures out to everyone Amanda knew which saw her exciled from her peers and friends. From then he stalked her, setting up pages online to make sure she could never escape her mistake. Others got 'in' on the harrassment and one guy lured her in to a meeting under the assumption he liked her and wanted to be her boyfriend, only so his girlfriend could beat her up later on. Her dad found her in a dicth afterwards....She never escaped the torment, people followed her despite her parents moving her around. The poor, poor child was a victim in every way. It destroyed her, she sought escape in any way and never got it. In the end she hung herself last wednesday just to escape the treatment she received undeservedly.

What most suprises me, saddens me and makes me reach for more tissues, is the video she made a month before. It's been one of the most watched videos on you-tube since her death last week. In a series of hand written notes, Amanda tells her story from beginning to end. It's one of the most harrowing things I've ever watched.

As a mother, it kills a little bit of me inside to hear about this. A child being tormented, chased, stalked and harrassed for just being....a child. Every single one of us makes mistakes, we are born in a world where we have choices, where we are blessed to have freedom. Why was one beautiful young girl punished by far from sinless fellow humans for something so many young people do? The outcome of her mistake was far greater than her action. Her life made unlivable by people with no right to judge her in this way.

As a mother I want to hold her, to tell her it will be ok, to comfort her and love her better. As a girl I want to tell her I would be her friend and as someone older and wiser I want to tell her that her mistakes wont deffine her forever. But it's all too late...there's now one more Angel in heaven.

Bullying was not something I understood, or fully knew the consequences of until I heard about Amanda Todd. Now I feel guilty for ever passing judgement on 'bullying'. I know now I was lucky to live in an age where bullying either wasn't as rife or wasn't as talked about. One things for sure though, with the over use of the internet and social media, our children are now being born in to a world where bullying breeds and spreads like wildfire, giving people a platform to vent their own insecurities, their own issues on to others while hiding behind a screen-physically and emotionally. Bullying is just small minded people, trying to make others feel as bad as they do inside.

So awful do I feel for Amanda's story, for her family and for the cause she battled that I'm going to do some fundraising for anti bullying charaties although of yet I'm not sure which one, I'm sure one in her name will be opened soon and I would love to donate the money raised to that. For now though, kiss your children and hold them tight. I know I will be keeping Joshua closer to me today...

Rest in Peace Amanda.
xx

Is Breast Best?

Never one to shy away from a taboo subject, I am so riled up for this one *takes stance and holds fists up ready for pretend fistycuffs*. I watched a programe that Cherry Healey made about Breat Feeding vs Bottle Feeding last night and I was absolutely incensed!

Prepare for this statement...I never breast fed Joshua. Yup. I'm one of 'those' mothers. I never tried, I knew I would never try, never even contemplated trying for longer than 1 nano-second once or twice-but even then I blame the hormones. It just wasn't for me. There was a Magazine Editor featured on the show who received a huge backlash after writing an article saying breast feeding wasn't for her and it was "creepy". I am on her wavelength! Now "Creepy" might not be the word I would choose, for me it's verging on repulsive and 'icky'. This is NOT my opinion of mothers who breastfeed, far from it. It's just MY own feelings about ME breastfeeding, to clarify, I do NOT think mothers who breastfeed are repulsive! It's just not for me, and nor was it for her. I'm glad to know I am not the only one who chose not to breastfeed because of these feelings.

Don't pre-judge me here, I'm not one of those people who chose not to for sexual reasons, it's not that at all. It's just literally something I could not get in to 'that place' about and never will with any more children I have. Do I feel guilty that I never breastfed? No. The only time I feel a little pang of something similar to guilt is when other people try and make me feel that way.

I knew in pregnancy I wouldn't ever do it. In fact I knew long before I was pregnant, or even contemplating parenthood that I wouldn't ever breast feed. Because, as I say,  personally it's not for me. It's not a whishy/washy au-fait reason that was based on laziness, it's because I actually find the thought of it really, really repulsive. I just could not do it. That's me. That's my opinion, my preference. Have I come up against people who cry shame on me? Absolutely! And yet, I don't judge them so why am I on the receiving end of some much judgement myself?

I know the statistics, I know the recommendations about children being breastfed until they are at least six months etc. I can't hide from the fact that breast milk is better for children than formula milk. But is formula milk damaging or dangerous compared to breast milk? Absolutely not! Yes there are plenty of studies to show that a child who was breastfed will have better health in childhood etc, but to me, childhood health is affected by many more factors than just milk. I don't feel that if Joshua gets ill, it's because he wasn't breastfed. It's because...he's ill! What a revelation hey?!

As for the fact that because I never breast fed my son, I love him less than a mother who did breast feed? Or the statement made by one mother on the show that she would have a closer bond with her child than I have with mine because she breast fed and I didn't? RUBBISH! Do I think my son loves me less than her child loves her? Nope! I am the centre of my sons world, I know he adores me, and I revolve around him. He's the love of my life, nothing would increase that or decrease that. It made me so insulted for another mother to pass judgement on such a life affirming love. A love that only a fellow mother knows the depths and extent of! Had I have been more a violent person (I'm not) I would have been tempted to dropkick my tv through the window at that point!! Joke!...a little!

To me breast feeding is a PERSONAL PREFERENCE! That means that we all have the freedom to chose what is right for us, to not be judged and not have our whole parenting abilities belittled because of this choice. Parenting is riddled with choices on a daily basis and not many other parenting choices affect peoples opinion of you quite as much as the whole Breast vs Bottle choice. Personal preference should give us freedom and yet sometimes it gives the opposite, I remember a baby group once where I was excluded very quickly when I mentioned I didn't breastfeed!

Do I regret not breast feeding Joshua? Nope. Will I breastfeed any future children I may be blessed enough to have? Nope. Do I waver on that? Absolutely not. I am a bottle feeder and I am not ashamed of it!

Love Chloe
xx